Last year was the first time I shared my personal story more openly with others, including some people at work. I’m not sure what compelled me to do so. And I’m really not sure what drove me to write this article and post it on social media, which still seems quite crazy to me as I sit here and type. But when we’re passionate about something, the potential positive outcomes seem to outweigh vulnerabilities and apprehension we might have about pursuing it. So here we go…
Poor and Humble Beginnings
That’s me with one of my brothers growing up in the Philippines in the 70s. (My youngest brother wasn’t born yet.) So cute (back then)! We were born to educated, professional, hard working parents. Mom was a CPA and Dad a lawyer. Mom quit her accounting job to stay home and take care of us. All was good while Dad worked, then he lost his corporate job and we never quite recovered.
Dad became a criminal attorney, a public defender, an advocate for the poor and wrongly accused. He didn’t have high-power and wealthy clients. Oftentimes, he got paid with bags of rice, corn, bananas, sugar cane, veggies, homemade desserts, eggs, chickens, goats, or a big hug and the sincerest thank you. Sometimes, he refused payment and even gave his clients bus fare to go home to their families from the courthouse. This was his career. He was not rich. But he was rich in compassion. He gave the vulnerable hope and a sense of dignity and self-respect.
We were poor for a big chunk of my childhood. We cooked food with firewood, pumped our own water for bathing and cleaning, and washed clothes by hand. At our lowest point, we didn’t know from where our next meal would come. Sometimes all we had was rice, coconut candy, and water. I recall having a pet chicken named Charlie (if my memory serves me right). When I came home from school one day, to my surprise and delight, we were having fried chicken, a rare treat. But I quickly grew suspicious and with just one look at my mother, I knew that it was my Charlie on my plate.
Worrying about how we could continue to go to school was the toughest. I don’t wish it on anyone, especially children. My parents instilled in us that helping others, hard work, and getting good grades are necessary to get a shot at a good life. Yes, just a shot, because doing all of these things doesn’t guarantee a good life, as Mom and Dad knew all too well.
I went to a good school but my parents no longer had the money to send three kids to school after Dad lost his job and couldn’t find work for a long time. It was devastating. Being inadequately educated was never an option for any of us. To help, my only recourse was to do my best to end the school year at the top of my class because my tuition would be waived for the next school year. And whatever little money we had would be enough to send my brothers to school. The pressure I put on myself was intense, especially as a 12-year-old in high school. Getting 100% was the goal on every single test. 98% or 99% was unacceptable. There were many tears as the thought of not being #1 in class and the consequences were unimaginable.
A Ray of Hope
But then a ray of hope came. Mom saw an ad for a foreign exchange student program and she asked my uncle in the U.S. for help in sponsoring me. Without hesitation, he offered financial help for my education. He is one of the most generous and selfless people I know. But we all knew what it meant—breaking up the family and us not seeing each other for a long time. My parents had many sleepless nights and shed many tears. It was the toughest decision they’ve ever had to make and they made it with me. Ultimately, Mom and Dad’s selflessness and rational thinking won out. They knew that getting an education in the U.S. was best for me, the family, and our collective future. It was our only hope for a better life. They decided to let their firstborn and only daughter go.
I had dreamed about coming to America and had visions of grandeur based on what I saw on TV—tall shiny buildings, lavish homes, beautiful people, gorgeous clothes, food buffets, four-lane highways like the ones I saw on the TV show CHiPs, and big yellow school buses. Yes, I wanted to ride a big, yellow school bus so badly!
I was excited but the thought of not seeing my family was gut wrenching. Regardless of how I felt at any given moment, I knew what I had to do and I did it. I was 14 years old when I kissed my family goodbye and boarded a flight bound for Los Angeles from Manila, carrying my brown Philippine passport and my favorite doll. Life began to change for me and my family from that day forward.
Welcome to America, Land of Opportunity
I now say that from the instant I landed at LAX, this country welcomed, raised, and provided opportunities for a child it knew very little about. I was welcomed by my wonderful American foster family in Michigan, who to this day I lovingly call Mom, Dad, Bro, and Sis. I was also given an opportunity to attend a Girls in Engineering summer program for high schoolers at Michigan Technological University, which I give much credit to me eventually pursuing a degree in engineering.
As a freshman, at the age of 16, at the University of Missouri – Rolla (now Missouri University of Science & Technology) and throughout college, I received acceptance, encouragement, and support from amazing friends and family. It wasn’t just about getting through my challenging engineering classes, it was also about helping me fit in socially as a younger college student still trying to assimilate into a new culture. So many things could have gone awry at this most formidable and impressionable time but I was surrounded by these smart, well-grounded girls, many of whom are now successfully balancing their careers with family life. We were sisters. They inspired me and made everything easier. By the way, don’t hold our big hair against us. It was the 80s!
Upon graduation, I was hired as an entry-level engineer by the then VP of Engineering of a telecomunications company, WilTel (eventually became part of MCI Worldcom and now Verizon). He interviewed me on Career Day at the university, saw potential despite my lack of any kind of relevant work experience. My resume at that stage consisted of two not overly impressive jobs: babysitter and part-time receptionist. But thanks to a reputable school, decent grades, community service, and an interview that apparently showcased my eagerness to work hard and learn, those were enough for him to take a gamble. I was given a real corporate job right out of college at age 20. I was invited to join the company’s Engineering Rotation Program where I learned the business as part of three different groups: Provisioning & Maintenance, Field Operations, and Sales Engineering. On top of that, I was now working in a tall, shiny building on the 25th floor!
I was a child, far away from my family, and in a big new world. The people of this country not only gave me a shot, they guided and supported me along the way. Little did they know, they were helping not just an eager Filipino kid, but her family, and (hopefully) many more children.
Blessed with Awesome People in My Career
Last year, after over two decades since I started working at WilTel, we had a company reunion in Tulsa, OK. Here’s a photo of many of the people that took a chance on me and gave me a solid start in my career. It was as if no time had passed, except for our wrinkles, a few more pounds, and some gray or missing hairs. I cherished that time with my former colleagues, early mentors, and the risk-taking man who hired me, Russ Ray. We were all smiles and we truly enjoyed the company of friends as we walked down memory lane and reminisced of the good ol’ days.
Fast forward to more recent times, my family in the Philippines is doing well. Although it took twelve years from the time I left there before I saw them again, I see them more often now (but still not often enough). I sometimes even have opportunities for surprise drop-by’s in Manila when I’m traveling for work in Asia. They have also visited us here in the U.S. for weeks at a time. Facebook, FaceTime, text, and messenger certainly help us stay connected.
I now have a family (hubby, daughter, son, and a puppy) of my own that I adore and a great career as a marketing executive in the technology industry. I’m currently working at Brocade, a Silicon Valley-based networking company, with amazing human beings and one of the best Marketing teams I’ve ever been a part of. This team, led by our fearless leader Christine Heckart, challenges status quo, works hard to drive growth for the business, as well as provides opportunities and takes good care of people. Even when we need to make tough decisions about people, as any manager must during corporate transformations, it’s always done with compassion. This team does all it can for the 3Ps: profit, planet, and people. No, we’re not chefs. (Thank goodness or we’d risk starvation!) This is our Marketing leadership team at our cooking team building event in San Jose, CA.
There are other equally great companies and people between my stints at WilTel and Brocade. I have learned, have progressed in my career, and have become a better leader, worker, friend, mother, wife, and person overall because of them. Unfortunately, I don’t have photos of them to share here but you can read about their awesomeness in my article, The Best Gifts are Priceless and Should be Regifted… Really.
My journey, even here in America, hasn’t been easy, just like the journeys of so many others. And I know that many others with far tougher journeys have also persevered. Throughout this journey, even when I felt like I was being rejected from something good, as they say, I was actually being redirected towards something better. All true. I wouldn’t change a thing. For this, I am grateful.
The Cycle Continues
So I share this with you not knowing all the reasons why. Perhaps it’s the burning desire to pay it forward and express gratitude to this country and its people. Maybe it’s a combination of that and the hope that people will come together someday in what seemingly is becoming a frighteningly divided America. Or, it could be because of my little boy.
Three years ago, we adopted a 2-year-old baby boy from an orphanage in the Philippines. He’s a beautiful child inside and out with the biggest personality, loving demeanor, and an extraordinary zest for life. Seeing the world through his eyes is an everyday gift. Looking back, if we could’ve brought home more children from the orphanage that day, we would’ve.
True to its very core, America once again welcomed an immigrant child with open arms and is helping us raise him. His story is still unfolding and there are many chapters left to be written for him. Knowing my son, he will give back to this country and the world many times over.
America, I am eternally grateful and indebted to you. I will never forget my roots, the path I took, and the special people along the way who got me to where I am today. Let’s keep the cycle going together, one child (immigrant or not) at a time, with acceptance, encouragement, guidance, love, support, and inspiration.
Let’s help the children understand, gain perspective, and empathize with the tough life that many have all around the world. We must not be afraid to let them experience hard work, disappointment, rejection, and failure, as it is with these experiences that they learn the most. Empathy, compassion, and gratitude may be some of the most difficult human qualities to ingrain given the better opportunities, technology innovation, and instant gratification that are prevalent in our society into which children are born today. But I believe that these same things allow the children to experience the world, interact and engage, as well as impact other people’s lives in more, different, and better ways. May we always have a special place in our hearts and minds for the children, channel their energy in the right direction, and encourage them to keep it going. It’s our moral and social responsibility to do so to help heal, unite, and make the world a better place.
I thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time and, as always, I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Or just a thumbs up or share if you’re in with us to help continue the cycle.