As we gain wisdom, we learn that the best gifts are often not physical gifts that we can easily put a price tag on. Many of us know what it’s like for someone to give us their precious time. There’s that satisfaction we get from learning, safety, joy, belonging, confidence, energy, and all sorts of feelings we get from that interaction. But it wasn’t until much later that I better understood what I need to do to fully embrace this valuable gift that people have given me.
I don’t yet have the perfect answers and probably never will. But at least, for now, regifting is my answer. That might seem odd as regift typically refers to giving to someone else a gift we received that we didn’t want. But for the purposes of this discussion, regifting refers to giving a gift that we find so valuable for ourselves that we have a strong desire to also give it to others knowing that they would benefit in similar ways. While I’ve focused much of this discussion on some of the best gifts in one’s professional career, many of these apply to our circle of family and friends as well. In fact, those lines blur fairly easily.
Here is my top 7 list of gifts, all of which I’ve been blessed to receive, that I believe should be regifted:
1. Critical Feedback and Tough Love. Everyone loves to hear great feedback. We like it when people think we’re awesome and that we do fantastic work. But what a gift it truly is when someone provides constructive feedback, suggests changes, and helps us figure out how to make it better. Similarly, we can all name someone so selfless that it’s hard to envision that person doing something malicious or ill-willed towards anyone. It’s just not in their nature. When someone like that gives us tough love, it’s because they know it’s what we need. They know that we may flounder around a bit but we’d eventually figure it out, and come out of it a better version of our previous self.
2. Belief Beyond Our Own. Fear of failing is paralyzing. It holds many of us back from doing something different, pushing boundaries, speaking our minds, asking for what we want and deserve, and more. Our minds can be our own enemies, keeping us from progressing in our careers. We begin to put ourselves in a box where we feel comfortable but unfortunately doesn’t allow us to grow. With today’s fast pace of innovation and evolving business models, this issue becomes a bigger challenge because we need to constantly reinvent ourselves to move forward professionally. What a precious gift to receive when someone believes in our potential more than we do.
3. Encouragement When We Stumble. Yes, we all stumble. If we don’t, we’re not learning and growing. And there are those people who just know how to pick us back up and encourage us to try again. Often, those are the people that stumbled and got back up each time themselves. We’ve heard of many stories of high-powered people, athletes, celebrities, and CEOs who have failed so many times to the point that no one believed in them. Everyone gave up on them. But they kept going and finally succeeded against all odds on the umpteenth try. So how lucky are we when we have people that give willingly the gift of encouragement to keep us going and trust in us to succeed?
4. Patience in this Culture of Immediacy. We’re living in a Culture of Immediacy and Age of Impatience. We so eagerly embrace instant gratification in many aspects of our work and personal lives. While I’m eternally grateful for the patience my early mentors gifted me in my career, I’m even more grateful for anyone that has shown me patience today. The gift of patience is significantly more valuable with all of today’s societal pressures and expectations around achieving something right now, not later. As we get older, we require more patience from people. It’s not easy to teach old dogs new tricks. Patience is no longer just a virtue, it’s a rare gift that we hope doesn’t succumb to obsolescence.
5. Valued Relationships. We all value our relationships with good people—our connections and network—that we’ve built throughout our careers. These are people we know, trust, admire, learn from, follow, and defend. For many of us, we protect our network as it reflects who were are—our character, strengths, beliefs, values, aspirations, and work ethic. When someone lets us into their network, introduces us, or recommends us, that person puts his or her relationships, reputation, and credibility on the line. That, in and of itself, is a gift. What we get from our new connections is yet another gift. The value of all these human connections is priceless.
6. True Compassion and Empathy. Misery loves company, right? When things aren’t going so well, does it feel like everyone else is running towards the opposite direction? The last thing we want is for others to not care about us or for us to wallow in our misery alone. Imagine the boost we get from someone saying, “I’m in the same boat as you. I completely understand. It’s happening to many and we’ll get through this together.” This gift of true compassion and empathy stands out so visibly especially when, at times, it all seems like it’s “every man for himself” nowadays. As they say, if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
7. Sincere Appreciation and Gratitude. We know that special feeling we get when a small child says thank you and gives us a big hug. So sincere. So polite. Often, so unexpected. Because we don’t expect it, it catches us off guard and makes it extra special. Showing appreciation takes time and many don’t take the time to stop and smell the roses. We do something. We move on. Then we do the next thing. Much like other gifts on this list, this gift has become more valuable in today’s world. When someone stops to appreciate and express gratitude for our work, that says a lot about the strength of our relationships given the myriad of things that person could be doing instead.
Writing this reminded me of the many precious gifts that I’ve received and how lucky I’ve been to know some of the most generous people in my career. I’m forever indebted to them and this is just one small way of paying it forward. In sharing this with you, I hope to elevate the recognition and appreciation for these priceless gifts and promote regifting them, especially given the sociopolitical climate around the world and feelings of divisiveness. Let’s change each other and the world for the better, one gift at a time.
I’m sure you have your own list of gifts you’ve received that you feel are worthy of regifting. Feel free to share your favorites and thoughts in the comments below.